By Any Other Name
by tadashi hamada
Summary: Ludwig found him, just sitting there in the rain, alone. He never thought bringing him home would have started something neither of them could stop. DISCONTINUED.
1. Realization

**Yes there is Spain with Ita-chan but that's minor. Well depends on how you look at it...**

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><p>The wind blew roughly against a certain Italian as he sat in the middle of a deserted road, not really caring about the rain as it soaked him. Lovino's arms tightly embraced himself, looking for the warmth that was not there. Tears streamed down his delicate face, concealed by the rain as it pelted him with force. He stared at the ground, glaring daggers at it.<p>

"Why?" he sobbed softly. "Why? It's not fair. He gets everything he could possibly want."

Lovino was referring to his younger brother, Feliciano. Lovino loved his brother dearly, and admitably, he was also jealous. His brother was care-free and his cute exterior could get him anything. His kind interior made others crave his presence.

Lovino on the other hand, was the opposite of his brother. He was rude, had a foul mouth, and frankly, was a pain to be around most of the time. He couldn't help it though, he was who he was and there was no way around it. It wasn't like he could magically change that.

The there was him. The man he so desperately craved for. The one he wanted, could not be his. It was impossible now, after a year of hope, it was all wasted.

"L-Lovino?"

Lovino head snapped up at the sound of his name being called out. He was greeted with a tall, stocky German. His brother's best friend.

"What do you want L-Ludwig?" Lovino asked shakily, the German's name foreign on his tongue.

Ludwig quirked a brow at the shivering Italian. He had never said his name before. It was always potato bastard or jerk, never Ludwig. He crouched down in front of Lovino, shielding him from the rain with him umbrella.

"Well, I was just curious as to why you are out here in the middle of the night. Not to mention it is raining." Ludwig said stoically.

"It's n-none of your business." Lovino growled.

Ludwig sighed and stood. He slowly held out his hand to Lovino. "Fine. At least come to my house for the night. It is warm and I don't want Feliciano to find out I found you and left you out here."

Lovino cringed at his brother's name and looked back down to the floor, but he stood. Ludwig began to walk off and Lovino followed. Lovino still had his arms crossed in an attempt to get any possible warmth. Both stood under the umbrella, Lovino trying to keep as much distance between them as possible.

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><p>"It's warm." Lovino grumbled from his seat near the cozy fire in the fireplace.<p>

"_Ja_, I told you it would be." Ludwig nodded. "Do you need anything?"

"Not from you." Lovino scowled.

"Very well. I will be upstairs. There is pasta in the fridge if you want any." Ludwig said before heading up the stairs.

Lovino watched him leave, and made sure he was out of hearing proximity before bursting into tears. No sobs, no sniffles, only tears. He sat there for about five minutes, constantly rubbing his eyes to dry them.

"I have got to stop this." Lovino sniffed, standing up. "That bastard said something about pasta in the fridge."

Lovino left the blanket that was around him on the couch, and began searching the large house for the kitchen. He saw pictures of Feliciano, a tear escaping his eye every time he passed one.

"Where the hell is the damn kitchen?" Lovino roared, stomping his foot on the ground.

"Right in front of you."

Lovino whipped around to find the German man standing behind him. Shirtless no less. He had a towel in his hand and was drying his wet hair.

"Gah! Put on a shirt bastard! Get a smaller house too!" Lovino yelped before running into the kitchen.

Lovino ran to the fridge and whipped it open. He shuffled around its contents and pulled out a bowl halfway full with pasta. He rummaged through the German's drawers until he found a fork. Not bothering to heat it up, he practically stabbed the pasta with that fork.

"Careful with that." Ludwig scowled as he walked into the kitchen, still having a bare chest.

"Ah! My eyes! Put on a shirt you bastard!" Lovino demanded with a mouth full of cold pasta.

"Ja, ja." Ludwig said, heading to the stairs.

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><p>"Honestly, I allow him to stay here for the night and he has the nerve to tell me what to do?" Ludwig vented to the air.<p>

He opened the door to his bedroom, light pouring into the dark room. Ludwig opened one of his drawers and pulled on a black tank top he usually used for when he slept. He then headed for his phone and dialed a number. Holding the phone up to his ear, he waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" came the cheery voice of Feliciano.

"Hello, Feliciano." Ludwig sighed.

"Oh, hi Ludwig! Now I enjoy your calls, but why call at this time of night?" Feliciano asked curiously.

"Well I thought I should let you know I found your brother out in the rain earlier. Right now he is in the kitchen eating." Ludwig explained.

"Oh! Is he okay?" Feliciano asked frantically.

"Ja, he is fine." Ludwig nodded.

"Make sure he doesn't leave! I'll be there soon!" Feliciano ordered. "Bye Ludwig."

Ludwig heard the beep signifying the call had ended and he ventured back down the stairs. Before he walked into the kitchen though, he heard soft sobs, no doubt they were Lovino's

"L-Lovino?" Ludwig asked slowly, unsure of how to approach. Italians crying out of fear he could handle. Italians crying out of sadness? Not so much.

"What do you want?" Lovino asked, not caring if he saw him crying.

"A-are you okay?" Ludwig asked nervously.

"Yeah." came the reply.

"Are you sure. I mean, we can talk about this if you want." Ludwig asked tentatively.

Lovino looked up at Ludwig and burst into another fit of tears. The German panicked and began to flail his arms and muttered an apology.

Unexpectedly, Lovino crumbled to the floor. Ludwig hurriedly crouched next to the Italian and almost timidly, placed a hand on his back. Surprisingly enough, Lovino said nothing, only letting out more sobs.

"I don't get it," Lovino sobbed. "he gets everything he could want and he takes the one thing that's mine! I know he didn't do it on purpose but I just don't get it! It's not fair!"

"Lovino calm down. Tell me what happened." Ludwig instructed.

Lovino pushed off the German and rested his back against one of the kitchen walls.

"Antonio asked out Feliciano today."

A look of realization crossed over Ludwig's face. Only someone so dense would not be able to realize Lovino had fallen in love with the Spaniard. Sadly, both Antonio and Feliciano are extremely oblivious and thus they did not notice Lovino's feelings.

"Oh." was all Ludwig could say.

He made his way over to Lovino and sat next to him.

"Look," Lovino began. "though I hate to admit it, I-I want to say thanks."

Lovino attempted to smile but he broke out crying again. Ludwig panicked and quickly held the Italian in a tight embrace. Lovino buried his face in Ludwig's neck and continued to cry to his heart's content.

Ludwig shifted some and Lovino clutched to his shirt.

"Don't go." he pleaded in a moment of weakness.

"I won't." Ludwig nodded, bringing the Italian closer.

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><p>"Hello?" Feliciano peaked through the open door. "Ludwig. Lovi. Are you here?"<p>

Felciano stepped into the quiet house timidly. He walked into the living room to find it empty. He then checked the bathrooms and bedrooms, all silent and empty.

"Well, I guess they're not here." Felicinao sighed." Might as well go have a bit of pasta then."

Feliciano stepped into the kitchen and his eyes widened. There they were, Lovino and Ludwig, on the kitchen floor, holding each other as they slept soundly.

Feliciano smiled. "I was afraid you were going to be lonely. I'm glad. Maybe you and Ludwig can be friends after all. Maybe even more."

Before leaving he called a certain Spaniard.

"Hola?" Antonio asked.

"Toni, remember how you said Lovi might be lonely and we should find him someone to be with?" Feliciano asked happily.

"Si, I remember. Why?" Antonio asked curiously.

"I don't think we need to do anything. Lovi has this under control."

"Really?"

"Hold on, I'll send you a picture." Feliciano snapped a picture of the pair cuddling and send it.

"Holy-" Antonio began.

"I know. I couldn't believe it either. Let's with him luck, no?" Feliciano asked.

"Of course." Antonio chuckled.

"See you later Toni." Feliciano giggled.

"Bye Feli." Antonio said before handing up.

Feliciano slowly and silently left the house, leaving the two on the kitchen floor.

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><p><strong>AN - I'm done! Yay! I like this pairing so much.  
><strong>


	2. Comfort

**Wait! Before you beat me for erasing the second chapter! *Curls up into fetal position* Okay, go ahead.**

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><p>Most days, Lovino would put on a brave face, or scowl, and sulk through the day. But he still had those moments where his chest just hurt too much, and he barricaded himself in his room, wallowing in his pain and tears. That, or he would disappear completely for days on end, without so much as a single warning. Those days were frequent.<p>

Today was one such day. He had locked himself in his room, curled up in a corner, crying his eyes until the tears refused to come out. Multiple times, Feliciano attempted to make his brother come out, all in vain. Then, Antonio gave it a shot, which resulted in Lovino crying harder into his knees. He screamed and screamed until they left him alone.

It was their fault anyway. They _should_ be concerned. They deserved it, the torture of not knowing what he was doing. Of course he wasn't going to do anything drastic though, that would be idiotic.

Then the knocks came. Feliciano was most likely trying again. Lovino didn't bother to tell him to go away anymore, his voice was already hoarse from yelling and crying. He didn't want to take the risk of straining it any more, so he stayed silent.

"Lovino." Came the deep voice through the door. Ludwig. It was Ludwig. He had been the one knocking. It wasn't Feliciano. Wait. Why was Ludwig here?

Lovino struggled to get to his feet and ran to the door. Placing his shaking palms against the cool wood of the door, Lovino spoke. "W-what do you want?" he asked, his voice quiet and frightened.

"Lovino, will you talk to me? I know why your upset, but you do not just expect me to forget about what happened that day. So, open up." Ludwig sounded somewhat anxious. "I know you're not willing to talk to Antonio, or Feliciano even, but will you talk to me?"

Lovino gulped. "Are you alone?" he asked.

"Yes." Ludwig answered without hesitation.

In an instant, the door was flung open and Lovino scurried onto the bed, bringing his legs up against his chest in protective manor. Ludwig watched the Italian with curious eyes. He looked so vulnerable, so frail. as if one world could shatter the small wall he had put up.

He looked up at Ludwig with dull eyes, eyes that had given up. It upset Ludwig more then he was willing to admit. It bothered him that someone he thought was once so head-strong, could be broken down so easily. Lovino had always stood strong. Granted he was a bit of a coward, but when it cam to things that really mattered to him, he stood his ground.

The Italian's lips were pressed tightly together in a silent message: He wouldn't be the first to speak, that was Ludwig's job. After all, Ludwig was the one who was granted entrance, and he had to have a reason to come in here. The German nervously sat on the edge of the bed, contemplating on how to begin.

"Are you okay?" Ludwig asked, knowing the question was silly. It was the best he could come up with at the moment.

The questions brought up some of Lovino's old flare in his now dull eyes. For a second, they shined with annoyance before going back to their sad void of nothing. "Do I look okay to you?" His legs lowered a bit, making his face completely visible. His eyes were bloodshot and his olive skin was pale and unhealthy, but the real Lovino was somewhere in there, he had to be.

"No, suppose you don't." Ludwig chuckled lightly. "Although do you think you can go out and talk to your brother? He's been worried sick about you. he keeps insisting you're going to kill yourself."

"I'm not going to kill myself, that's fucking stupid." His legs lowered more, and he began to relax, his depression fading with every word exchanged. "What the hell would make him think something so damn stupid? Idiot probably also thinks it's his fault I'm so upset."

"Well, isn't it?" The German quirked a brow at Lovino.

Lovino looked up at Ludwig, he's eyes void of emotion, just a blank abyss."It's my own damn fault for letting myself fall so easily. I don't blame my brother, or Antonio. I just, no matter how fucking hard I try, can't help but feel the anger and jealousy. But hey, I'm just human, right?"

Ludwig managed a nod. Lovino's voice hit him like a ton of bricks, and he couldn't find his voice. Did he really feel like that? Why was he not mad at them for betraying him? It was strange, and it didn't seem like something Lovino would do, or something he was even capable of.

"Get out." Lovino stated, pointing towards the door. "I really just ant to be alone. Tell Feli I won't do anyhing stupid. Just, go away for now.""

"I... I understand, Lovino. I'll be leaving now." Ludwig nodded and stood from his seat on the bed. He stood there, unmoving, for sometime. "I think it would be best if we forget about what happened that day you were at my home. What do you think?"

Lovino nodded, his finger still pointed at the door."Got it, now go and get the hell out of my face. I want to be alone."

Ludwig sighed and walked out, closing the door behind him. As he walked away from the door, he never heard the lock being turned. It was unlocked, perhaps for Feliciano or Antonio to go inside and comfort him, if he allowed it.

Feliciano materialized at the door frame and sniffled, wiping his damp eyes. "Ludwig, d-did he let you in?" The Italian asked slowly, letting out a sigh in relief when Ludwig nodded a yes.

"He was very cold to me, though." Ludwig explained. "Not the cold he usually is, and he was so distant. But I talked with him, and he seemed a bit better. He insulted me a bit if that helps."

"It does!" Feliciano grinned through the sadness. "Can I go see him?"

"He left the door unlocked, though I don't know if he's ready to... deal with it just yet." Ludwig faltered a bit. He wondered, what kind of pain could Lovino be facing? It had to be horrible, if his heart was breaking in front of his own eyes.

"Deal with what?" The innocence in his voice stayed. He really had no clue. "Ludwig, what were you guys talking about? I didn't do something, right? It was me wasn't it?"

"No, it wasn't. Well, not really." Ludwig pursed his lips. "Just give him some space."

"Okay." Feliciano nodded. "But, do you mind dropping by once in a while to talk with him, so he can get better faster? I mean, he was willing to talk to you.. So, do you think you would mind coming back? I-if you want to."

"Sure, Feliciano. I'll drop by tomorrow." Ludwig nodded. "But, for now, I have to get home." Ludwig walked past Feliciano, sending him a wave as he walked out the door.

"Well, if big brother is down, then it's up to me to make him happy." Feliciano was determined. "I have to get Ludwig and Lovi together. I can do this!"

"Do what?" Antonio's head poked through the door.

"Nothing!" Feliciano sang. "Guess what Toni, Lovi is going to get better soon!"

"That's great!" Antonio smiled, pulling his lover closer to him, kissing the Italian's neck lightly. "I can't wait to have the old Lovi back, I really miss him and his rude comments."

"Me too."

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><p>AN - Heh... I love you? I'm so sorry, I just had to get something out, cause lord knows it's been too long. Just so you know, this story is going to get a lot more depressing before it gets all happy and fluffy. Just letting you know...


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